In case you missed it, for a few weeks I will be linking up with an amazing group of women bloggers from the Skimbaco community. We will be offering up ideas on finding fulfillment in life right now through the little things to make the most out of each and every day.
Have a blog? Love to have you link up and join us in this Live a Little blog hop!! Sometime this week, write a post about how you Live a Little then link up using the Linky at the end of this post and get the code yourself to put on your blog.
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." - Harriet Tubman
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| my love in 2008 |
I wish I never would have gone to that psychic at the end of 2008, but since I did, I have been afraid to love my husband like I want to. I sit here with tears in my eyes as I write these words for you because I want to grow old with my love, not lose him now. Everyone dies, but not everyone lives and if I don't conquer my fear, it just might be too late for second chances.
Three and a half years ago I went to see my first psychic and what she told me, changed my life. Aside from the numerous things she told me about my daughters and my health that were totally accurate and I had no idea how she knew, she also told me that I would stay married to my husband. Then almost without taking a breath, she told me that I would get married again.
When I looked at her confused, she told me that my husband would die of a heart attack within 3 to 5 years.
Flat out that is what she said. Nice huh?
She told me some other private things all of which have come true.
Each day I wonder if this will be the day that I get the call no wife ever wants to receive.
I think about it constantly and I've recently realized that this constant worry is keeping me from loving my husband like I want to...because I am afraid.
I am afraid of losing my love and never having the chance to fulfill dreams we want to share like having him walk our three daughters down the aisle. I am afraid of never having the chance to make the memories I have planned to make, with the man I chose to spend my life with.
So I pull away to protect myself and my heart and in the process, I live a little less right now, each day.
Have you ever heard the saying that everybody dies, but not everybody lives? Well I have and it's meaning resonates within me. I want to conquer my fears to begin living my life to its fullest potential. I never want to look back thinking any of my choices were wrong and that I missed out on anything.
"When you have made a choice, you have no choice but to make it the right one," has been my motto for 20 years.
After sharing my fear with my husband last Friday over dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, my husband and I made a deal. I will risk having my heart broken to feel his love now and hopefully for many, many more years to come. I have decided to conquer my fear, let down my wall and not hold back my love. My husband promised that he will work at finding ways to live a little healthier.
I hope he keeps his promise because I am determined to keep mine.
P.S.- Have you heard about The Green PolkaDot Box! Recently launched with over 12,000 members and backed by the Organic Consumer's Association, you can easily buy NonGMO organics at wholesale pricing online. It's like a Sam's club but focused on products for green, healthy living!! You can even shop by dietary restrictions like gluten free, vegan or diabetic.
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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead